


I'd Set Ablaze the Secrets We Conceal

by HockeyShit



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Homecoming fic, M/M, Non-Linear Narrative, mentions of the Leafs management group
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-06
Updated: 2018-12-06
Packaged: 2019-09-12 21:57:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16879962
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HockeyShit/pseuds/HockeyShit
Summary: One of the first players Kyle met was William Nylander. Young, and sure of himself. Kyle knew this could be his downfall. This kid.“Wanna make a deal?”





	I'd Set Ablaze the Secrets We Conceal

**Author's Note:**

> Willy homecoming fics are my absolute favorite. So here's another one this time Willy/Kyle.   
> Title from John Moreland's "Hang Me in the Tulsa County Stars"

Kyle startled when his phone rang, but couldn’t help but feel relief when he saw who was calling. 

“Hello?” 

“Wanna make a deal?” He didn’t expect to hear William, but of course Louis had him on a conference call. There was something in his voice, the usual confidence that was always in William’s voice wasn’t there. He sounded nervous, and Kyle figured they both had reason to be. 

It was after that that Kyle started talking to Louis, that’s where most of the conversation was, occasionally William or Brian would be asked a question, but for the most part Kyle was talking to Louis. 

“We’ll email this to you, you can print it, sign it, scan it and send it back to us and then we’ll send it into the league, we should have enough time to get it done.” Brandon said to William. It was soon after that that the call clicked off.

 

* * *

 

One of the first players Kyle met was William Nylander. Young, and sure of himself. Kyle knew this could be his downfall. This kid. They had a good relationship, Kyle thought he had a good relationship with a lot of the Marlies. But there was something about William, how they came in to the organization together, that made that relationship special.  

Quickly though the relationship became something more than a relationship between a player and a GM. The meetings happened more often and lasted longer. They’d start talking about hockey, how William could get better, be a better asset to the team. But they’d end up talking about their homes. William always wanted to hear about Kyle’s hometown, wanted to know what it was like living so close to home. 

 

One of the things Kyle liked about his age in relation to the players he was managing was it let down on barrier that would stand between a player and someone as old as Lou was. It was times like this where Kyle felt his age was a strength. When William was in his office crying. Kyle hadn’t quite got the full story out of him, something about a man he had met at a bar. 

“William, take a deep breath, it’s going to be okay, we’ll deal with it.” He watched as the young hockey player in front of him took a shaky breath, and then another one. “Good, what’s wrong?” 

“I didn’t mean, I don’t know what I was thinking. But I, it was so stupid Kyle.” William looked like he was ready to cry again. 

“What was stupid William? We’ll help you but you have to tell us what is wrong.” 

“I met up with a guy from Toronto on grindr and then, he saw me at a bar after the game.” Kyle knew he had two choices, he could lie about knowing what grindr was, or hope William didn’t push too hard on why he knew what grindr was. One look at the tears running down his face told him the second option was his best bet. 

“This sounds like an issue you might want to talk to the PR department about.” Kyle started, he watched William’s face get even whiter. “But we can talk about it as well if you’d like to. What are you worried about William?” 

“I, do you even know what grindr is?” Kyle nodded and William just shivered at that look. 

“The team will help protect you William. We will take whatever steps you want to take to keep this as quiet as you want it to be.” That seemed to quiet William down just a bit. “I’m not sure how well we can keep it from getting out, if this man...well PR would know more about that than I would. But we’ve got your back William, no matter what.” William was wiping the last tears off his face when Kyle finished talking. 

“What if….What if I wanted to come out?” William looked like he was trying to convey his usual confidence, but it was lacking. 

“We’d stand behind you.” 

“I wouldn’t get traded?” Kyle knew that there was a toxicity to hockey culture. He had been around it his whole life, but he’d never been where William was. There was a difference, being the gay general manager of an AHL team, and being a gay player for that AHL team. 

“I would have your back, if you came out and that came up as a reason for trading you.” William only nodded. “I don’t say this to discourage from coming out William, but if that’s something you’re interested in, then-” 

“I don’t, I don’t want anyone else to ever know Kyle, it’s not worth it.” Kyle felt his heart break, not just at the words, but the defeated look on William’s face. He had gone from faux confidence to looking like the world was crashing around him. 

“I hope someday that you no longer feel that way.” Kyle said, he wasn’t sure it was the right thing to say, and he was sure it wasn’t when William looked up at him almost scowling. 

“You wouldn’t understand.” This was a side of William Kyle had never seen. From all their long talks, William had never been that sharp with him. 

“I’d understand more than you think.” Kyle could hear his heartbeat but he pressed on. “It’s not the same, but I’d understand more than you think.” Kyle hadn’t meant for that to cause William to start crying again. But he did, curled in on himself, sobs wracking his body. Kyle looked at the time, he had a meeting soon, he couldn’t cancel. He stood up and walked over to William putting a hand on his shoulder. 

“I’ve got your back William, I’m here for you okay?” William nodded, rubbing away the tears. He stood up and gave Kyle a shaky smile, the tears still falling. 

“Thank you. Thank you Kyle.” Kyle squeezed William’s shoulder before they both left. 

 

William had stopped coming to Kyle’s office soon often after that. When he did they only talked about hockey. It was an odd change of pace, and Kyle caught himself missing the long chats with William about Stockholm and family. He knew he shouldn’t, that he needed to focus on the team, and let the players come to him as they wished, let  them dictate the relationship.

It was after the Marlies lost in Albany that ended up being a night Kyle would never forget. He was just getting ready for bed, he’d thought about opening up gridr, but knowing he’d likely see William’s profile had made him delete the app. It had been fun while William was up with the Leafs, but now that they would be traveling together, he’d let William have that space. 

Kyle was rocked out of his thoughts by a pounding on his door. He ran over, not bothering to put a shirt on. He opened the door and saw William Nylander on the other side of the door. William was dressed nicely, like he had gone out, there were tears running down his face, a bruise blossoming on his cheek bone. That hadn’t happened in the game he was sure of it.  He knew better than to let William in his room, but he wasn’t sure what else to do. 

When the door closed behind William Kyle guided him to the chair, reaching for the ice he’d gotten earlier and wrapping it in a towel. He meant to hand the ice to William but the way William was sitting on his hands got Kyle to hold the ice to William’s face for him. 

“What happened?” Kyle knew his voice was softer than usual. He wanted to kneel in front of William, take his face in his hands make sure whatever happened never happened again. Instead he stuck to standing in front of him looking down with what he hoped was a welcoming face. 

“I, I went to this bar, it’s a….well it’s a gay bar. And I- I ran in to one of the guys on the other team and he...I don’t know, he was still mad about the game or…...he just…..” William moved one hand out from under him and waved at his face. “He called me some really horrible names too, like...like he didn’t realize he was also at a gay bar.” 

“Do you know who he was? We can tell the league and-” 

“No.” William wasn’t looking up at Kyle, instead he was looking a bit to the left at the door. “No. No one else can know.” Kyle nodded, he didn’t feel like this was a good time to point out that going to gay bars wasn’t a good way to stay on the downlow. 

“I just…..it hurts, it hurts and now he knows, we’re going to play them, hopefully at least three more times. And he’ll know, it’s, he could hurt me and make it look like an accident Kyle.” William turned his face just enough to look up at Kyle. “he could end my career and no one would know why, it would just be….an accident, a hazard of the game.” Kyle dropped the ice and held his hands out to William, pulled him up and started undoing the buttons on William’s shirt. 

“I will never tell you that you can or can not come out William, but if that happens, I think you should think about taking it to the league.” He helped William out of his shirt before gesturing at his pants. While William was struggling out of his, skin tight, pants Kyle turned to get his extra pair of sweatpants. He wasn’t sure when or why he started carrying them, but he was glad he did. “Here.” Kyle knew he was crossing boundaries. That a responsible GM would listen to William and then send him on his way. Instead of doing anything remotely like that Kyle helped get William settled in to his bed. 

“I’m so scared sometimes Kyle, I played my first NHL game this season and that’s all I could think about. Was someone would find out.” Kyle layed next to William threading his hand though William’s hair. 

“William, you know there are other gay players in the NHL right?” William just shrugged. 

“There’s a reason I don’t know who they are.” William countered and Kyle guessed he was right. 

“I can talk to You Can Play, see if we can find you a-” 

“A what? Support system? I don’t, I just want it not to be an issue.” William huffed and slammed his face down on his arm forgetting the bruise.  He winced immediately. 

“Careful, and a support system is important William. Having people to talk to about this, I think it would help.” William shook his head. 

“I have you.” 

“You know that’s not the same thing.” Kyle said he wanted to lean down and kiss William’s temple, but he wasn’t sure if that was a boundary he was willing to cross. Even if it didn’t seem like too big of a deal at this point. 

“Do  _ you _ have someone to talk to?” William asked turning over so they were facing each other. 

“I have my family.” William sighed. “William do...do you-” Kyle wasn’t sure how to ask. It hadn’t come up, they hadn’t talked about their families since the conversation about grindr. It hadn’t crossed his mind that William’s family might be less supportive than his own. 

“I have my family too, they’re just…..Far away.” William waved his hand at the window and Kyle didn’t have to heart to tell him that he was gesturing west. 

“I think it would be good for you to have peers to talk to about this.” William just shrugged, and rested his cheek on Kyle’s chest. They didn’t say anything for a long time. Kyle went back to running a hand though William’s hair, thinking he’d fallen asleep. 

“Kyle?” William’s voice was devoid of the usual confidence. That was becoming a too often occurance for Kyle’s liking. 

“Yeah William?” 

“What….what are we doing? Are we like…..” Kyle opened his eyes and watched as William took a finger and started tracing patterns absentmindedly on his chest. 

“I’m not sure…” Kyle didn’t want to have this conversation but he knew it was important. He knew they needed too. He also knew he needed to use this opportunity to put an end to it. No matter how much he liked this, they needed to stop. It wasn’t professional, and it might get in the way some day. 

 

* * *

 

When the negotiations started Kyle felt like it would be too hard to keep their personal lives personal. That he or William would try to use their relationship to get the other to cut a deal. Kyle knew he had a whole staff around him that wanted to get William signed for as low as possible, and he knew William’s agent was working for him in the opposite direction. It made it feel even more important to get it right. 

Kyle slowly started to realize that William was not going to let their relationship get in the way at all. It started with fewer calls about anything that wasn’t the contract. Then even the calls about the contract stayed on topic. Eventually it was just William’s agent Louis who was doing the calling. The texts had petered out. There was just one, late night voicemail from William, promising he loved Kyle, that he hated not talking to him, but he needed to focus on work. He was clearly drunk, but it calmed down Kyle more than he knew he needed to be calm. 

 

The trip to Switzerland was nerve wracking. Kyle wasn’t sure what to expect. They’d never gone this long without seeing each other. When he sat down in the small conference room across from William he caught himself being disappointed about the way William stayed on topic. 

“I just, Kyle, I want to be a Leaf for a long time.” 

“William, as long as I am in charge of the Leafs, you will not be traded.”    
“You...you can’t mean that. Kyle you’re my boyfriend that….forgive me when I say, that doesn’t feel like it means much.” Kyle wasn’t sure what to be more shocked at, the strange formalness in William’s voice or the admission that Kyle’s words didn’t mean much. “It’s not that I don’t trust you Kyle, it’s just…..if it comes down to it, I know you’re the one making the decision but what if…..” something on William’s face changed 

“What if what William?” 

“What if someone finds out I’m gay?” Kyle’s brow furrowed. 

“I won’t let you get traded because you’re gay William, we talked about this three years ago.” 

“I just mean, You’re my boyfriend. You’re not going to want to trade me because that means we’ll be apart.” 

“William, it hurts that you think I won’t do my-” William shook his head 

“I know you’ll do your job Kyle, I know that if a trade comes up, a good one that makes the team better, I know you’ll trade me. But you won’t want to. That’s why it doesn’t mean much. You have a reason not to want to trade me.” Kyle nodded. 

“We, as a management group, Me, Brendan, Lauerence, and Brandon, we don’t want to trade you. We don’t want to get in the habit of losing good young players.” 

 

They didn’t seem to get anywhere constructive after that. And Kyle didn’t have all day, he needed to be back in Toronto soon. When they both realized they’d passed the point of productivity they shook hands and stood up. Kyle wasn’t ready for the hand on his elbow and the little tug pulling him around. He wasn’t ready for the bone crushing hug from William. The soft hic-up that he knew ment William was crying. 

“We’re gonna get it figured out. We’re gonna get you back home soon.” The hug didn’t last nearly long enough. When Kyle walked out of the room he didn't look back. 

 

* * *

 

William making the leafs out of camp was both a blessing and a curse. It felt like a weight was lifted off of Kyle’s shoulders. There would be less sneaking around and hiding simply because Kyle would be spending his time with the Marlies and William would spend his time with the Leafs. That meant though, that they would have a lot less time to meet at all.

 

It was after a long road trip with the Marlies that Kyle came home to find William asleep in his bed. He was hogging all the blankets as usual, and Kyle didn’t want to wake him up. He got ready for bed by the light of the master bathroom, before getting in to bed and pulling William back against him.  The younger man stirred but didn’t wake up. Kyle didn’t expect him too, he often slept like the dead. He planted a kiss at the base of William’s neck before falling asleep as well. 

 

That became a common occurrence. And soon it was happening the other way around as well. One night Kyle was woken up by the bedroom light being turned on, and William tiptoeing around. 

“William, come to bed.” 

William startled clearly not expecting Kyle to wake up. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.” William quickly finished undressing and turned the light off before getting into bed.

“What did you think would happen when you turned the light on?” Kyle asked between a yawn and pulling William against his chest.

“It’s never woken me up.” Kyle could hear how tired William was. His vowels were getting longer, slipping into an accent Kyle didn’t know William had. 

“I don’t turn on the light.” Kyle teased, but it had fell deaf ears, William had already fallen asleep. 

 

Kyle wished he could appreciate the Leafs’ playoff run more. He loved the Marlies, but he felt like he was missing out on something by missing the Leafs’ games. He didn’t want to admit to himself that it was William that he missed. He needed to stay a professional. But still, he saw the highlights, the way the Leafs were keeping up with the Capitals. He watched William and felt proud. Kyle tried to tell himself he felt proud because William was a Marlies graduate, but he knew, there was a large part of him that was proud of his boyfriend.

 

* * *

 

Kyle hung up after taking to Don Waddell, he had reiterated multiple times throughout the call that the plan was to sign William, if it came down to a trade, then Kyle would let Don know. He was just about to call Peter Chiarelli when he heard Brandon Pridham in the other room. 

“William, I want to assure you, we don’t want to trade you, we want to keep the core together, and that includes you.” Kyle couldn’t help but smile to himself about that. William might not believe him, but he’d believe Brandon.  

 

* * *

 

When Kyle dropped William off at the airport he felt a pang of longing, before William had even gotten out of the car. It was just a few months and then William would be back in Toronto playing his second full season as a Leaf. It would be Kyle’s third year as GM of the Marlies, and hopefully his last.  Lou was supposed to retire after this. There to set the ship straight and then let Kyle take over. As excited as he was, he knew he needed to focus on the season ahead of him.

 

“Hey, I’ll see you yeah?” William asked leaning against the car. There were cars behind them honking, waiting for Kyle to move. 

“Yeah William I’ll see you.” William flashed a bight smile, a bright enough smile that anyone who didn’t know what they were looking at wouldn’t know William was close to crying. 

 

That summer was filled with texting, and snapchats back and forth. Kyle wasn’t sold on snapchat at first. But when William explained that even the text conversations would disappear, Kyle wasn’t sure why they weren't using it earlier. 

It was on snapchat that Kyle sent his first dick pic. He knew it was a thing his players were doing. He’d over heard bits of the many talks they were given at the beginning of the season telling them they were best to not send them at all. Kyle wasn’t sure he understood why they would be sending them at all. But when William sent him one, it finally clicked. 

He’d seen dick pics before, grindr was full of them. But William’s was something more than just a grindr dick pic. He wasn’t trying to show off his size, he didn’t have much to show off anyways. Instead, it was a picture of William’s body from his chest to his hips where the focal point was his dick, but there was more to look at. Kyle could imagine the soft quiver of William’s abs if he were to run a hand over them. He felt like he could hear the breathy moans William would make if Kyle were to run a hand over his dick. 

Kyle wasn’t sure how to take one himself, how to get the same artistic take on it. He did his best, and hoped it had the same effect on William that William’s had on him. 

The pictures got more and more lewd as the night went on. He’d thought he would spend the summer near celibate, waiting for William to come back. And he would, he just hadn’t realized how big of a part William would play in his jack off sessions. 

 

The summer drug on, and on. And when finally William was coming back Kyle had to be out of town. Kyle hadn’t thought he might not want to open a snapchat from William in public. He was glad that he had been too busy that day to check his phone much. When he got back to his hotel he found a video of William, in their bed. He was wearing one of Kyle’s old SOO Greyhounds shirts, and had his dick in his hand lazily stroking it. Kyle knew his moans were mostly for show. They weren’t nearly as breathy as they ought to have been. But it was hot all the same.  Kyle sent a video back. Tomorrow he would be headed home.

 

* * *

 

Kyle was trying not to watch over Brandon’s shoulder too much but he couldn’t help it. They were waiting on an email from William’s father, an email which would contain a signed contract. Kyle wasn’t sure if it really was taking too long, or if it was simply a “watched pot” situation. 

He was startled out of his thinking by Brandon’s email chiming at the same time as his phone started ringing. He answered without looking, not sure who would possibly be calling, but if it were another GM he was ready to rip in to them. 

“Did you get it? Did you get it? Did you get it?” Kyle calmed watching Brandon print the document getting it ready for them to sign. He could feel his face softening. He knew they were all  watching, wondering who he could possibly be talking to this close to the deadline. 

“We got it.” Kyle knew his voice was too fond, he shouldn’t talk to William like this around his colleagues, but he couldn’t help it. “We got it.” Kyle smiled a bit at the cheer on the other end holding his phone between his ear and his shoulder while he signed the contract. “Brandon is scanning and sending it into the League right now.”

“Don’t hang up until they tell you they got it?” Kyle wished he could erase the vulnerability in William’s voice, replace it with the usual confidence. But he would be lying if he said he wasn’t just as worried. 

“Yeah, I’ll let you know. Brandon just sent the email. We’ve been in contact with the League since you called at 4:30, there isn’t anything ahead of us, we should get confirmation that they have it soon. Then they just have to approve it, but as long as it's in by five and they know it’s in by five they can take a long as they need to approve it.”  Kyle wasn’t sure if he was talking to keep William calm or himself. But he watched as the minutes ticked down. 

“They’ve got it.” Brandon said smiling. Kyle could only collapse on his bed. 

“They’ve got it William. Congratulations, you’re a Toronto Maple Leaf.” 

“Pending league approval.” Brandon said and Kyle nodded and relayed it to William. 

“I need to go, shower and get to the game. Book a plane and then get a bit of sleep William we’ll see you soon.” Kyle watched as his colleagues left. 

“Yeah, I’ll see you soon Kyle.”

“I’ll see you soon.” Kyle waited till the door closed behind Brendan “I love you Will.” 

“I love you too.” 

 


End file.
